The Two Girls In Me

I’m not the same girl I was last night

That girl was a mess

She wouldn’t let go

Clinging to a world full of darkness

That girl doesn’t seem real

She feels every emotion to the extreme

Too empathetic, too excited, too angry

Too happy, too alone, too sad, too mean

When she is happy and plans are made she is fun

God, she feels so much on the inside

But when someone goes to touch her

She is numb, it’s like her physical body has died

Then there is this other side of me

That feels not many emotions at all

I think with my head, really figure things out logically

It’s like the emotional side functions so small

She shuts out others and wants to be alone

But does what she is told even works within a team

That side of me is almost not quite human

She operates smoothly but more like a machine

This side seems to live in a different world

But yet she feels physically everything; every pain; every touch

Her emotions shut down not to process

But her nerves alive feeling way too much

I don’t know which of these girls I truly am

They never seem to exist at the same time

They both are powerfully charged and broken

Is there a real person; a whole person living somewhere in my mind


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I'm turning 40 in April 2017... So much seems to have happened and changed. I guess I am feeling I should have it figured out by 40, but does anyone every really have it all figured out?

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