The Disenchanted Superhero Living Inside Me

I’ve always had a sense of justice deep inside of me.  Also, I possess a protective nature for those that are the underdog from bullies.  I am not saying I’ve never knocked someone down a peg or rendered them speechless but it is usually well deserved.  Picking on someone that is struggling or for no reason is just low.

The reason I got into the field that I am in has to do with the nature of justice.  It also has to do with trying to change things for all the people involved in one person’s life that seems to make bad decisions for whatever reason.  I feel that if I can impact the parent, then maybe the child(ren) have a chance at a better life.  Everyone is someone’s son/daughter, brother/sister, well basically someone’s loved one.   Some need to sit it out because they can’t play nice and don’t want to learn to live different.  Others can work hard to prove that they can better themselves.

The bad thing about my life experience and even my job is be aware of the injustice.   Growing up I knew about the kid that got beat up by his drunken father but nothing ever changed.  I had a friend that told me in junior high that she was pregnant and scared because it was her mom’s boyfriend.  Of course she didn’t want him to and didn’t know how her mom would react – towards her.   I helped her talk to the counselor.  She didn’t come back to school and I have no idea what happened but I can’t image the life she had up until that point.  My own mother was a bully when she lost it, verbally and physically attacking my father, sister and I.  We just knew never to tell anyone because you were not allowed and well if you did, it might get worse or you could end up away from your family.  After I was a mother myself, I learned that my mom not only had an abusive biological father that her mother left but her stepfather was also abusive in some other ways.  My grandmother not wanting ANOTHER failed marriage had chosen to stay with him even if it might cause her daughters distress.

I see that a lot it seems, where a parent will sacrifice what is healthy or safe for their child to be with a person that is damaging.  As a parent it baffles my mind really.  There are certain things that are way over the line and don’t make sense.  I think my mother in fear of being rejected always tried to overly please her step-father and in my opinion still does.  However, I think that she was emotionally all over the place and we her family later got the bad end of that ordeal.  I can barely have a relationship with her and refuse to have one with my step-grandfather.

We all see the stories in the news about horrible crimes like sexual or violent in nature and the offender either gets off on a technicality or a slap on the hand.  I scratch my head and think about the victim who is suffering and wonder what they must think.  Nothing can undo what has been done.  But it is amazing how much you will hear about the “offender’s rights” and the “offender’s future”.  I understand our system has these things in place.  However, the offender never gave a thought to the victim’s rights nor their future.   However, THE REST OF SOCIETY needs to be concerned about this person’s rights/future even though they often don’t take accountability or seem even sorry for what they have done to their victim.

So this built-in sense of justice that is like a superhero living in me gets pissed.  I want to help “get the bad guy/girl” but often find that then “the bad guy/girl” got a good deal.   Way better than others in the past and maybe even the victim.  He/she is back out doing whatever they want.  So the disenchanted superhero in me starts to understand then mindset super-villains at times.  You know the ones that finally feel that they have to take justice into their own hands because someone has to do it…  The superhero can’t because “it’s outside the law.”

I love that show Sweet/Vicious.  The two girls that have decided to beat-up and scare the hell out of the ass-hats that rape the girls on the college campus do it because no one else seems to care.  Well not enough or the ones that actually could do anything about it.   The colleges don’t want to have “rape” as an issue on their campus so they don’t acknowledge it happens hardly ever.  In addition depending on who the rapist is matters.  They would rather have the jocks, rich kids or whatever paying /playing their way thru instead of some bad press.

How do you scare the guys into maybe thinking twice about raping a girl?  Let them see that other guys are getting their ass handed to them when they have made that choice.  Make them think there are actually consequences!  Ones they cannot hide from, buy their way out of or blame/shame the victim.  Consequences that are swift, certain and painful (in some way) are actually shown to be real deterrents.    We have such a long painful process with so many loop holes that our justice system does not seem to provide it anymore.   More often than not the victim is on trial more than the rapist anyway.  Everything the victim has done in their past, worn or said comes into question rather than what the rapist did that night.  It is disgusting.

Okay, I will NEVER really break the law.  I am wired to obey and uphold it.  I wish I could be a bad-ass that way, but god knows I would break or have anxiety that would make me fail.   I fear being caught and being locked up too much… yeah I actually believe that I would go to jail/prison even if I felt my cause was setting right some injustices.  This is how you know I am not a criminal, as for some reason they all don’t believe they should or will ever be locked up and are genuinely surprised if they are.  I guess you can say that inside me lives a superhero that at times is disgruntled and mentally cheers for the vigilante/villain.


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I'm turning 40 in April 2017... So much seems to have happened and changed. I guess I am feeling I should have it figured out by 40, but does anyone every really have it all figured out?

4 thoughts on “The Disenchanted Superhero Living Inside Me”

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