If I die, who would show?
Would it be out of obligation from the past, guilt, or because you would just want others to know?
If I die, how would the two that brought me into this world respond?
Would they steal the show? Would they pretend I meant so much even though everything was so wrong?
If I die, I imagine it would become all about them.
They would try to make the day harder for my children and my love they would offend.
If I die, does this horrible feeling just end?
The last thing I want to do is give it away or pass it on to another to contend.
That is why I fight every damn day.
I’d rather deal with the devil than make another person pay.
In case I lose the battle and I am beaten in this fight.
I feel I need to have a written will and want to say this right.
When I die, thank you for coming; I hope part of you might have really cared.
It’s too bad that you did not take the time or maybe tried harder and shared.
When I die, I say to those that brought me up and gave me life,
It’s too bad you couldn’t be around to see how much I loved being a mom and wife.
None of you have earned the right to steal any claim to cry.
You choose to treat me the way you did and we’ve already said a formal goodbye.
My children and my husband are all that is left and I’m sorry for what they’ve been thru.
You will take a backseat to their grief.
Because when I die, most likely I lost this battle without any help from anyone of you.